The courage to conquer fear
To provide some context, I was a timid child who disliked confrontation and would often hide whenever I knew I was about to get a beating.
One of the most interesting and powerful lessons I learned as a child was taught to me by my grandmother through storytelling. Kaka, the most interesting and wonderfully mysterious woman I know, has always had a mischievous glint in her eyes that hints at well-kept secrets. She loves storytelling and when I was a child, she told me a memorable story about an antelope hunt that has stuck with me to this day.
To provide some context, I was a timid child who disliked confrontation and would often hide whenever I knew I was about to get a beating. I would hide and wait till everyone was not angry anymore but would eventually come back when everyone had gotten over it or was worried sick about my disappearance instead of being angry. One day, I misplaced the house key while everyone else was away attending a party. When they returned, I couldn’t find the key or remember where I had placed it. My uncle was tasked with helping me look for the key, but I must have frustrated him so much because he became angry after an hour of looking for it without success and I knew I was in for a beating. So, I did what I always did best — I hid, this time in a tree in the compound, waiting for the commotion to die down.
They eventually noticed that I had disappeared and started looking for me without success. I could see and hear them frantically trying to find me all the while seated up in the tree waiting for the commotion to go down so that I could come back. Someone found the key so they stopped the search but I was still hiding because I could not find the courage to climb down the tree and face my punishment. Kaka eventually discovered my hiding place and revealed it to everyone so I had to come down. Although I expected to be scolded and beaten, surprisingly, no one touched me. The next day, I was punished with the task of pulling weeds from the entire compound. During this punishment, Kaka, who knew my love for stories, offered to tell me a story while I served my punishment.
In Kaka’s story, to mark the start of a hunting season, hunters would sound trumpets to alert their fellow hunters that the hunting season had started. Unknown to them, the trumpet sounds also alerted the animals in the forest that there was a danger because they had noticed that their family members disappeared whenever the trumpets sounded. The antelope herd, therefore, started hiding and finding new pastures to avoid being caught by the hunters. However, hiding came with the risk of starving to death, whereas not hiding meant risking getting caught by the hunters. Before the start of a particular hunting season, two antelopes were born in the herd — one courageous and popular, and the other timid and quiet.
When the trumpets sounded at the start of the hunting season, the courageous antelope decided that it was not going to hide and declared, “I think I love the sound of the trumpets. I will stay.” The timid antelope ran and hid deep in the woods, waiting for the hunting season to end. When Kaka told me this story, she did not reveal what happened to the two antelopes. She just stopped and walked away. This left me intrigued because I wanted to know which antelope had survived the hunting season. I was obviously rooting for the antelope that had decided to hide because that seemed like the wise thing to do.
As I grew older, I started relating to the story and understanding its meaning. I often face challenges that require me to make difficult choices and decisions. Sometimes, my first instinct is to run and hide, just like the timid antelope, but I have learned that I will never know whether I am making the right choice or not unless I act. It has taken me a while to distinguish between rational fear, which can help me make informed decisions, and irrational fear, which can hold me back from taking necessary risks and opportunities. I have not learned this all-in-one go. I have made mistakes, missed out on opportunities, and even lost a few relationships in “my learning journey.”
Thinking about Kaka’s antelope hunt story has helped me realize that facing fear and taking action, even in the face of uncertainty and potential consequences, can lead to growth, and learning. The courageous antelope might have even found a way to survive in that dangerous situation. It is a constant reminder that I always have the option to hide whenever I deem it safe to do so but, in most circumstances, I will eventually have to face challenges head-on whether I am afraid or not. Of course, sometimes I let fear dictate my choices. Other times, I am courageous enough to ignore the fear and act even when I am afraid.
To this day, Kaka has never completed the antelope story and I still wonder which antelope survived the hunting season but I am always reminded of the valuable lesson she taught me through her storytelling. Whenever I think I am in trouble, I remember the antelope story, laugh and say out loud, “I think I love the sound of the trumpets. I will stay.” It is a funny reminder that either way, I have to face the trouble so I might as well make light of the situation.
