WHAT I THOUGHT MY LIFE WOULD BE LIKE AT 25
“…during my first week at university, I took an evening off to plan how to get through the next five years of my life…”
I have a confession to make. I am a little too obsessed with making plans. I plan for everything. I mean everything. I have Excel spreadsheets, to-do lists, and Word documents filled with budget schedules, tasks, short, and long-term plans. I love making plans and organizing things in my life. It should not shock you that during my first week at university, I took an evening off to plan how to get through the next five years of my life. By my estimation, I would be 25 years old in five years. Full of optimism and innocence, I made a 5-year plan stating what I wanted to achieve in detail.
I can’t help but smile at myself because I am 25 years old today and it has been exactly 5 years from the time I made my five-year plan. I decided to reflect on my expectations and dreams for this milestone. To say that my life has unfolded in the most unimaginable ways is an understatement because when I made the plan, I made it in such a way that it outlined what was most important to me to the least important. As I stated earlier, I was innocent and full of optimism so keep that in mind as I share what I thought my life would be like when I turned 25. These were the contents of my plan;
1. Being in a relationship
I do not know why having a boyfriend was so important to me back then, maybe because everyone around me was in a relationship and I wanted to be in one too, but it was something I thought deserved first place in my plan. It was outlined as number one. I honestly anticipated that I would meet a guy who would share my interests and that we would still be together by the time I turned 25. Life, however, had other plans for me because for the 3 years, I was at the university, I was never in a relationship. Being in a relationship seemed very important at the start of my campus journey but by the time I was in my second year, I noticed that a romantic relationship was not in the books for me. I was always in the library or at church. I never went out, had the same group of friends I considered family, and was too stressed about other life aspects like getting my grades up, being able to sustain my life, getting new friends, and finding a job. How was I supposed to meet the “Love of my life”? He probably would have found me in the library or church, but both these places had strict rules about maintaining silence, so there is no way he would have approached me. With time, this goal moved from number one to the bottom of the plan.
Looking back now, being in a relationship was not as important as I initially thought. It should not have been the number one item on my plan because it was not something I badly needed back then. I made very many friends, met new people, and gradually learned that finding love was not all about finding “The One” It was about genuinely loving the people around me. You cannot plan to fall in love. I have a strong feeling that my mother’s prayers had something to do with the fact that I never got a boyfriend while at the university.
2. Achieving personal growth
The reason why I was so determined to achieve personal growth was because I had heard many prominent women talking about the importance of women “working on themselves” so I decided to work on myself. Back then, I was determined to have it all because I imagined myself as a confident, intelligent, strong, and accomplished woman who would have her life figured out by the time I turned 25. I figured that by that age I would have overcome my insecurities and fears. I imagined that I would have found a sense of fulfillment. So, I read so many self-development books, listened to podcasts, went to church so often, and constantly kept myself busy. I always had something going on. To me, personal growth meant having many accomplishments ticked off, achieving great performance in class, being confident, and feeling good about myself. I imagined that by the time I turned 25, I would be perfect. I was so wrong!
While I have made tremendous progress in my growth journey, I have understood that personal growth is a gradual process that is not achieved in only 5 years but rather something you keep working towards as you grow. After all the efforts I have put into working on myself, sometimes I do not feel confident, or as fearless as I should. I am not even close to perfect and will never be. I still have a long way to go.
3. The Perfect Career
If my mother reads this, she will probably be disappointed because before going off to campus, she gave me a 2-hour lecture on the importance of focusing on my career growth and avoiding distractions like relationships. I listened for most of the 2 hours, but while making my 5-year plan, career growth took third place.
I believed that by the time I turned 25, I would have a thriving career, doing what I loved and making a meaningful impact in the world. I envisioned myself climbing the corporate ladder and feeling a sense of fulfillment in my professional life. Back then, I thought achieving a successful career was about how hard I worked, how great my job sounded to others, and how much I was getting paid. It is more than that. Career success looks different and is measured differently. Some people decide to go the corporate route, others prefer to be entrepreneurs and others are making our society better in various ways through their service. Whenever you are doing well in your occupation, we should consider that as career success. We should not wait until we become CEOs to consider that we have had successful careers.
At 25, I now know that there is no such thing as a perfect career because, along the way, you discover new passions and interests. You make mistakes, learn new things. Career success doesn’t always fit into a predetermined mold so it’s okay to explore different avenues and embrace unexpected opportunities because who knew that I would one day be an auditor?
4. Utilizing my time by doing personal projects
I thought I had so much time to do all the things I wanted to do like write books, write poetry, and attend cooking classes. I did not know then that life gets in the way. As an adult, life gets in your way all the time. You have school, work, and your own life to manage. Sometimes at the end of a difficult day, you want to go back to your bed and hide because the day has been tough. Your weekends are filled with plans to see your friends and family because you need to be a good friend and sibling. Why has no one talked about the time you spend in a saloon? Instead of doing productive projects during the weekend, you end up spending 5 hours in a saloon doing your hair and nails! Or binge-watching a Netflix series just because you had a terrible week and feel the need to reward yourself.
I wanted to do so many things in my free time, but time is fleeting. Without accountability, a whole year can go by without you noticing it. I thought I had so much time back then but there is never enough time. I am now 25 and I do not even know how I grew up so fast. Where did all that time go?
5. Financial Stability
Back then, I used to call it financial independence. It would be a marker that I had grown up and was an adult. I loved the idea of having my own money and spending it the way I wanted to. I believed that by this age, I would be earning big money so that would not be a problem. However, the reality of navigating early adulthood and dealing with daily challenges is that money will never be enough. The more money you get, the more needs you have. If you do not take the time to be content and grateful, you miss the opportunity to realize that God has blessed you more than you ever imagined.
Now I know that money is really good! It makes life easy and enjoyable. It allows you to take care of those you love and live your life comfortably. I always wondered whether I would ever get the money I wanted and if someone asked me to talk to a 19-year-old about money, I would tell them to not over worry about money. You will get the money; it is just a matter of time.
6. Building a relationship with God
As I was writing my plan. God came last. Not because I did not love God but back then when I had just joined campus, so many things overshadowed and covered up the need to seek God. I just wanted to enjoy my new life. As time went on, I quickly realized that I did not belong. I was in an environment where I knew nothing, and no one was willing to teach me. So, I turned my eyes to God because there was no one else to turn to. He was my last resort.
In a way I still cannot explain, He became my friend and companion. I then started to learn that I could count on him to get me through the anxiety, stress, and loneliness. I initially wrote a plan with so many things but what I needed most was God. Everything I have, everything I have achieved, the people I have met, and the life I am living now, God had a hand in it.
I have fallen many times, failed at many things, and struggled through situations I do not talk about but one thing that has stayed constant is God. I always run back to him like the prodigal daughter that I am, and He is always ready to start a new chapter with me. He is the Lover of my Soul. If I was told to rearrange my plan now, without hesitation, He would come on top of the plan.
As I reflect on what I thought my life would be like when I turned 25, I realize that life rarely follows a direct path. Some of my expectations were met, others were shattered, and new paths were forged. Life has a way of shocking us and teaching us new lessons. I still make plans. I still have more than 30 Excel and Word documents full of plans but I have also come to embrace the fact that some twists and turns will make my plans uncertain and shake them to the core, but I am not as worried and anxious as I was before because if God has brought me this far, He will take me through till the end.
So, here’s to 25 and the journey ahead!
